Courtship Ritual
by sbdrag
Summary: Eridan preforms a courtship ritual on Sollux's ceiling.


"… you actually thowed up," Sollux said, staring out the door to his room in shock. Eridan stood, arms crossed and sneering. It had taken him the better part of an hour to take the long way around and find Sollux's room in the lab, and it left him slightly irate.

"Well of course I glubbing shoaled up. I said I was going to," the fish troll said. They remained staring at each other. Then Sollux sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses as he stepped aside.

"I thould have known tharcathm would come back to bite me in the ath," he grumbled as Eridan blew past him. The purple blood looked around, taking in the random lab equipment scattered about as well as the relative bareness of the room. There hadn't been much for Sollux to fill it with, so he hadn't bothered to search for more than any decent computer parts.

"At least I mackeraled out better than you did in rooms," Eridan said. Sollux rolled his eyes, sitting back at his computer. He started scrolling through Karkat's bitching, glad he hadn't been missed yet.

"Whatever. Jutht don't break anything; thith thit wath hard to find," he said, making a snarky comment to something Karkat had said. Eridan snorted. "And I'm talking with KK, tho don't bother me."

"Well, you are shoal considerate for the glubfuck that fucking dared me to come," Eridan said. Sollux decided to ignore him, finding more to be righteously mocked in his conversation with Karkat. Eridan grumbled something behind him, but Sollux wasn't worried about it. And he continued to ignore the other troll, tuning him out almost completely.

Sollux jumped as moaning ricocheted off the metal walls. He whirled around in his chair, at first not seeing Eridan until following the dangling cape and scarf to the ceiling. Sollux stared, not sure what to make of… whatever it was Eridan was doing on his ceiling. However the hipster got up there. It seemed to involve awkward, jerky dancing, as well as… was that a pelvic thrust? Yes, yes, those were pelvic thrusts alright… and walking around in a circle. Moaning, groaning and grunting the whole time, as if it were some kind of turn on… or… good gog was it some kind of demented courtship ritual? Fef would know, since only higher bloods did such fucking ridiculous crap; but he wasn't going to ask. He just watched, looking for more proof of his assumption. Did Eridan really think this was going to fucking work?

It was then Sollux remembered he was having a conversation with Karkat, and looked back at his screen.

CG: …

CG: HEY ARE YOU FUCKING THERE?

CG: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LEAVE WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SHARING EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOT TO MENTION FUCKING CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION WITH YOU?

CG: I SWEAR IF ANY OF THIS GETS OUT

TA: 2orry ii wa2 dii2tracted for a moment

CG: FUCK WHAT HAPPENED NOW.

TA: eridan ii2 iin my room, or rather on my ceiiliing

TA: iit apear2 he'2 preforming 2ome 2ort of court2hip ritual, dii2turbiing 2ound2 iincluded

TA: on my ceiiliing

CG: FUCKING PERSISTANT ASSHOLE

CG: TELL HIM TO GET LOST, WE'RE DISCUSSING SIGNIFICANT ISSUES HERE

CG: THE MERE FACT THAT I AM EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH YOU SHOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU OUGHT TO BE FUCKING THANKFUL FOR MY GENEROSITY IN DECIDING TO SHARE VERY PERSONAL INFORMATION WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE

CG: NOW KICK HIM OUT, I DON'T WANT HIM STICKING HIS FUCKING SUPERIOR SHITSTAIN GILLS ON OUR CONVERSATION

TA: ii'm 2orry kk, ii have two leave

TA: ii'm feeliin 2ort of dizzy

TA: we'll talk about your feeliing2 for that ridiculou2 human later

CG: WHAT

CG: NO WE FUCKING WON'T

CG: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE CHOOSING HIM OVER ME. YOUR FUCKING FRIEND.

CG: FUCK YOU.

CG: AND FUCK HIM TOO.

twimArmegeddons [TA] ceased tolling carcinoGenecist [CG]

Sollux turned away from his computer, staring at Eridan again.

"What the fuck are you doing, fuckass?" Sollux asked. Eridan ignored him, continuing with his odd behavior. Sollux sighed, grumbling a few more obscenities before standing up. "How did you even get up there?"

"Science," Eridan said, let his arms swing down as Sollux came to stand in front of him. They were actually about eye level, and Sollux crossed his arms.

"Thcienthe, right; you used your fucking wand, didn't you?" he said. "Wait, I don't even give a thit. Jutht get down, you're giving me fucking headache.

"Whatewer, I'm not glubbing down because you said so, glub," Eridan said. Sollux rubbed the bridge of his nose for the hundredth time since Eridan got there.

"Eridan, thith ith fucking thupid. If thith ith thome kind of demented courtthip ritual or thomething, it didn't work, tho get down and get out," he said. Eridan snorted.

"Why would I perform a fucking courtship ritual with you? That's fucking ridiculous," he said, but his cheeks were tinged slightly purple, giving him away. It was Sollux's turn to snort.

"It'th tho obviouth, dipthit; get over youthelf," he said. Eridan glared at him. "The thuperior purple blood ith tho fucking dethperate he'th trying a courtthip ritual with the freak muthtard blood, and then he won't even fucking admit it. You're tho pathetic, I could-"

But Sollux was cut off as Eridan grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him forward. There was a brief thought of 'oh thit' as he closed his eyes, then opened them a moment later in surprise.

Eridan was kissing him; and it wasn't even a kismesis kiss, it was definitely a flushed kiss. Sollux knew because it was soft, gentle even. And it felt... good. Curious, the mustard blood pressed back against the kiss, hands coming up reflexively to wind into Eridan's hair. It was a bit strange, since the fish troll was upside down, but Sollux closed his eyes as he explored the sensation, the slightly rough feel of Eridan's lips against his causing a tingling to spread down his spine.

His face flushed yellow as he felt a tongue brush against his lips, but he opened his mouth slightly, tilting his head to get a better angle. Eridan, surprise surprise, tasted a bit fishy, with a slight tang of salt, but for some reason Sollux enjoyed the flavor, reveling in it as he canvassed every inch of the fish troll's mouth; and the other did the same to him.

Eridan moaned into the kiss as Sollux rubbed the bases of his horns with his thumbs, clutching the mustard blood's shirt tighter. He flushed deep violet, pulling closer to Sollux and biting at his lower lip. Sollux moaned a little at that, then quickly took the lead again, dominate the kiss easily.

"So… it didn't work at all… huh?" Eridan asked when they broke for air. Sollux growled a little.

"Thup up," he said, taking a step back. "And get off the ceiling."

Eridan gulped, suddenly nervous. He bit his lip, then snapped his fingers. The spell, er, science he'd laid came undone, and he flipped to land crouching, but on his feet. He wasn't there long.

Sollux hauled him up by the front of his shirt, setting him on his feet. They looked at each other a minute; Eridan was a bit taller than Sollux, which is what kept his feet on the ground. Then Sollux leaned up, using Eridan's shirt to reach as he captured the other's lips again. They both closed their eyes, and Eridan let his hands come to rest on Sollux's waist, pulling him a bit closer. Sollux wrapped one of his arms around Eridan's neck, holding himself up, then wrapped his other hand around the base of one of Eridan's horns.

Eridan tried to stifle his moan at the contact, sinking deeper into the kiss. They both jumped and jerked back as their glasses hit, the unexpected moment catching them off guard. Then, with a wave of his hand, Sollux used psionics to place both pairs on the table. Eridan stared at him a moment, not used to seeing Sollux's eyes unless it meant he was being attacked. Sollux noticed his gaze.

"What?" he asked. Eridan blush, if it were possible, darkened a bit.

"Nothing," he said, then leaned in to reclaim Sollux's lips, closing his eyes. Sollux returned the gesture, resuming rubbing circles into Eridan's horn with his thumb. The fish troll shuddered; it was getting hotter as Sollux bit his lower lip, and all the heat was going straight to his bonebulge. He wrapped an arm around Sollux's waist, the other threading into the short hair at his nape. Sollux made a small whining noise as he accidentally rubbed against Eridan's thigh. Eridan moaned, feeling that Sollux was getting as hard as he was.

Sollux actually chuckled, pulling out of the kiss to nip and suck his way down Eridan's jaw line, undoing the cape pulling away the blue striped scarf to attack his neck. Eridan groaned and pressed against him as Sollux grinded their hardening bulges together. Sollux then resumed rubbing Eridan's horn, and the way Eridan writhed caused them both to stumble back and over.

Eridan let out a light 'oof', taking the brunt of the fall as he hit the floor. Sollux didn't skip a beat, continuing his ministrations as he sucked at Eridan's neck. The fish troll writhed and moaned, bucking up against the smaller troll on top of him. The hipster's hands found their way under the hem of Sollux's shirt, pushing the material up, running his hands over the other troll's body as it was revealed. Sollux broke away a minute to rid himself of the shirt, taking the opportunity to do the same to Eridan. Then he was back at the fish troll's lips, tasting and biting and sucking, one hand fondling his horn and the other tracing down his body. Eridan dug one hand into Sollux's waist, increasing the friction between them as he reached with the other hand to brush one off Sollux's horns.

Sollux moaned; this was not what he had expected when Eridan had walked into his room tonight, but he sure as fuck wasn't complaining. He also wasn't letting Eridan gain the upper hand. With a little psionics and some quick maneuvering, he managed to get the fish troll's pants off and wrap a hand around his bonebulge. Eridan gasped, then keened as Sollux started pumping his length, writhing more than before as sweat beaded all over his body.

Sollux bit Eridan's neck and jerked him harder, making the fish troll arch against him. Sollux then licked the wound, taking his hands away for a moment to get his own pants off. He sighed as his bulge was released from its constraints, and without further ado dug his hands into Eridan's hips and thrust hard into his nook.

Eridan practically screamed, throwing his head back, claws scrambling for purchase on the metal floor. That fucking hurt; but he didn't complain as Sollux continued and the pain melted into pleasure. Sollux leaned over to suck at his lower lip, and started jerking him off again in time to his thrusts. Eridan wrapped his legs around Sollux's waist, bucking into him as he wrapped his arms around the other troll's shoulders, pulling him closer for a kiss. It wasn't two much longer before the pair reached their peak, Eridan spilling light purple genetic material over both their stomachs.

They didn't move for a minute, panting; then Eridan gave a small whine as Sollux pulled out. The mustard blooded troll collapsed on the floor next to Eridan, wrapping a lazy arm around his waist and tucking his head against the taller troll's shoulder. Eridan shifted curl slightly towards him; they were both pretty beat by then, and it was nice to cuddle.

Then the door burst open, and Karkat stood, about to launch into a rant, then closed his mouth with a snap as Sollux and Eridan looked over at him. Sollux rolled his eyes as Karkat's cheeks turned crimson.

"Geez, KK, there'th a door there for a reathon," he said, curling back against Eridan and shutting his eyes. Eridan was bright purple, watching for Karkat's reaction.

The nubby horned troll just stared for a few moments, then turned, walking away stiff legged without saying a word.

"That was… seaprisingly quiet," Eridan said. Sollux snorted.

"Don't worry, he'll bitch plenty later," he said. Then he sighed, starting to drift off. Eridan was watching him, and stroking the back of his head.

"Guess the stupid courtship ritual does work," he said. Sollux just snorted and smiled.


End file.
